Fuck you. Promise me something then lie about it. Whatever. I should know better anyways.
I need to set better boundaries. I can’t stay clean unless I do.
Sorry I’ve been absent lately. I moved in with a different friend and I don’t have Internet there. Even if I did, I’d barely be on. Things have been crazy busy lately!
Feelings have been complicated, however I’m getting a lot of support. I was being irresponsible with my meds and I did get scolded for it but I also got a little pep talk with it. The woman I moved in with is my new sponsor. My old sponsor was too busy and I needed more. Her daughter actually wants me to be her sponsor too! The house is full of recovery! I love it. We all go to meetings as a family and its perfect.
I also go on my new sponsors paper route with her. We already have so many inside jokes. I really just love it there. It’s the best place I’ve ever been.
Things have been a little stressful here and there but that’s okay. I’m surviving. I got 7 months clean a couple days ago. Go me!
I have to pee so bad but Pattis asleep and were like an hour away from the nearest restroom. Help please.
GOD FEELINGS ARE THE WORST. It’s not okay to have crushes on women twice your age even if you do have mommy issues. Especially when she has three kids and a boyfriend.
Man paper route from midnight to 9:30 in the morning then work at 11:30-4:30. I’m already pooped and I haven’t even started work yet. I know what I’m doing when I get home! Sleeeeeeeeeping!
So I moved out of stefanis. I moved into my friends house from the na program. It’s nice here. There’s a lot of solid recovery. I go to work with her every night. She does a paper route. We laugh and talk and cry together for the nine hours were in the car. It’s a great experience.
Recently a friend of ours shot herself in the stomach. It’s been really rough on both of us. But it’s brought me to a realization of how selfish I’ve been and I’m ready to turn it around. Being with clean people all the time is so good for me. I’m learning so much already.
Most everyone wants me to go back to treatment. That’s kind of rough. I’m doing much better though so maybe they won’t. I haven’t decided how I feel about it yet.
That’s about all I got right now. Life’s okay. I’m surviving. It’s been hard but I’m getting through it.